Catalyst

I’ve been waiting all these years
Hoping when I’m back you’ll change
I’ve been wasting all these years
For a way out, or a pay out, just to be free of here
I’ve been waiting all these years
I’ve been weighted with all these years
I can’t figure out why I’m still here
I’ve made up my own thoughts, just to make me stay
Don’t know if I’m the catalyst or if I
I’m just a passing wind
I’ve made myself a catalyst
But what if it’s all, it’s all amiss
I still wait and hope for time
To fly
My mind tied my heart to “if”s and “why”s
To “try”s
But I’m
Tired of seeking
See, I been down this road too
Frequently
Thinking that I’m supposed to
Be the key
To saving them from the
Enemy
What a bag to keep
And I’m back and forth, I’m back and forth
Wondering if my purpose is more
Than the suffering I gotta endure
Well, maybe I have it all wrong
Don’t know if I’m the catalyst or if I
I’m just a passing wind
I’ve made myself a catalyst
But what if it’s all, it’s all amiss
I still wait and hope for time
To fly
My mind tied my heart to “if”s and “why”s
To “try”s
But I’m
Tired of seeking
I wanna say I’m sorry, sorry, sorry but
I’m not faking, faking, faking, faking my love
I can’t say I’m sorry, sorry, sorry for
Choosing God over humans that disappoint
And I still try and try and try and try
For people who are only standbys
‘Cause although I picked a side, I picked my side
I still wish my earthly ties can become allies