Again and Again

It began sometime last week
The feeling that most everything was changing for the worse
All the triggers pulled at once
So begins my ugly fall from grace - again

I made myself delusional, the noble stab at staying upbeat
But it was only for a while
I tried my best to radiate through hurricanes and double eights
The pair split into two

Talking points from up on high
Watch me walk the ledge, I am comfortable out here by myself
You could never reach me here
Words distorted in the wind, landing softly there beneath the trees

Our trip to California, don't say I didn't try to warn you
Put down the cell phone and try to be with me
Did you see me disappear like vapor rolling through the hills
And then, the silence of your name

I never found the trust I needed from you
Everything you did was making me wonder
My biggest mistake was taking you back
Again and again

I couldn't forgive the things that you did
I'm glad it worked out for you, but
You're only fooling yourself if you think you won't do it
Again and again

Sad attempt at poetry, sad attempt at happiness
The sadness of reality
I'm OK, I've been OK, I'll stay OK

I took the bullets from the carport
Tossed them in my backpack
Placed a set of keys inside the grill
I left the title to the house inside the piano bench
And my lawyer's got the will