Call Now (Commercial Break)

Are you dead? Dying? or about to Die? and running into that age old problem of where will I spend my eternity?
Well wonder no more because we here at The Casket Factory have got you covered..boxed huh!
With our patented "One box fits all!"
It doesn't matter your size or shape we will FIT THAT ASS IN A BOX!
Too tall? No problem! We'll cut them stilts down to nubs and FIT THAT ASS IN A BOX
Too short? No problem! We'll stretch that ass with a (?) and FIT THAT ASS IN A BOX
Too fat? No problem! We'll chop some flibber fabber off your body matter and FIT THAT ASS IN A BOX
Too skinny? Noooo problem! We'll stuff your dead body plump like a Thanksgiving Day turkey with discarded fat from other bodies
And PUT THAT ASS IN A BOX
So if you're looking for place to spend your eternity don't hesitate
Call now! 555-URDEAD
The Casket Factory!