Qualifications

With my qualifications, woo-hoo-hoo
With my qualifications, woo-hoo-hoo
I could get me a job walking a dog
Chopping a log, cleaning a bog

With my qualifications, woo-hoo-hoo
With my qualifications, woo-hoo-hoo
I could see myself stacking a shelf
As a sales assistant at do-it-yourself

With my qualifications, woo-hoo-hoo
With my qualifications, woo-hoo-hoo

And my brother worked night and day
On the Euro-Star terminal
And the government gave it away

So what's the point in university?
For three years, I read philosophy
Now I read bar codes all day long
Beep, beep, beep sings that check-out song

With my qualifications, woo-hoo-hoo
Talking 'bout my qualifications, woo-hoo-hoo

Would you like to see my PhD?
My BSc? My GCSEs?
I gotta first in physics so I ought to know
If your fries are for here or to go