Winkle Picker Shoes Blues

[Verse 1]
I've got those
Wish-I'd-never-bought-these
Winklepicker-shoes blues

I've got those
What's-the-good-of-shoes
Your-feet-can't-even-use blues

My lickle toe's disjointed
My big one comes out pointed
Wish I'd never seen 'em
How the hell d'ya clean 'em?

Cost me seven nicker
I've got winklepicker-shoes blues

[Verse 2]
What a trouble I've caught in the plates, mates
I look at my feet and I freeze
Why was I misguided?
I wish I'd not decided
To be elastic-sided booties

I've got those wish-that-I-could-flog
These-winklepicker-shoes blues

I've got those oh-me-achin'-dogs
In-shoes-that-once-was-news blues

[Verse 3]
Down at youth club dances
My girlfriend won't take chances
Feel a proper nit th're
All I do is sit th're
Chatting to the vicar

I've got winklepicker
Drives a bloke to liquor
I've got winklepicker-shoes blues

[Outro]
Hooray for gum boots