I Paid J. Howell to Rape You

[intro]
"This is Jim Howell, pulling up the dipstick on the economy"

[screaming]

[verse 1]
JIM HOWELL BEAT HIS WIFE SO HIS BROTHER IN LAW FIRED HIM
WE WERE TRYING TO THINK OF WAYS WE COULD HELP HIM OUT
I SAW YOU WEARING A 311 SHIRT AND READING FRENCH POETRY
TO YOUR LESBIAN LOVER WHO WAS WEARING A SIMILAR 311 SHIRT

[Chorus]
I PAID JIM HOWELL TO RAPE YOU
I PAID JIM HOWELL TO RAPE YOU
I PAID JIM HOWELL TO RAPE YOU
I PAID JIM HOWELL TO RAPE YOU

[verse 2]
FIRST WE GAVE HIM A FIFTH OF OLD CROW AND SOME SCOTCH
WE TOLD HIM YOU'D PROBABLY BE AT THE RANDOM ROAD MOTHER SHOW
WHILE YOU WERE TALKING TO JOE BONNI ABOUT CLOVE CIGARETTES
HE SLAPPED YOUR COUSIN AND CALLED YOUR MOTHER A JEW
AND THREATENED TO RAPE YOUR CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND, YEAH YEAH YEAH

[Chorus]
I PAID JIM HOWELL TO RAPE YOU
I PAID JIM HOWELL TO RAPE YOU
I PAID JIM HOWELL TO RAPE YOU
I PAID JIM HOWELL TO RAPE YOU

[outro]
RAPED, RAPED, RAPED, YOU GOT RAPED BY JIM HOWELL
RAPED, RAPED, RAPED, YOU GOT RAPED BY JIM HOWELL
RAPED, RAPED, RAPED, YOU GOT RAPED BY JIM HOWELL
RAPED, RAPED, RAPED, YOU GOT RAPED BY JIM HOWELL