As the Blackening Waves of Fear Within Me Rise

The blackening waves of fear within me rise
I opted for suicide
Said farewell now to my dreams
And what I thought this life should be
Pinning a note to my chest
I thought it best for all to see
I clutch it now, thinking
Was that the sum of what I had to say?
Ah what the hell, they're sure to sanitize it anyway

The wooden beam seemed the right idea, initially
I'll bet that fixture could have set me free
For it's at this point I must concede
That my current mode of action
Is what you may call ill-conceived
At best
Despite my decade long engagement
To opt for this mortal coil
Or eternal rest

I'm doomed at best

The blackening waves of fear within me rise

It could have been a rope, a belt
A tie a cable, a cord a sheet
Or whatever is available
To deliver relief
But the rope really spoke to you

The floor just inches from my feet
That chair I stepped off just out of reach
A fine time this is indeed
To decide this may not actually be
The right thing for me