How Could I ?

How could I harbour such a fiend in my mind?
I was so pure and calm
Now her polluted brooding
seeps into me
Makes me question myself
Lost my effervescence
She drained my essence
Tug of war in my mind
Amplify all my flaws
"I ain't worthy" she states
Not a foreign influence
She's a part of me, hence
I can't win from her
How could I harbour such a fiend in my mind?
She brings her gales into my ocean so unconfined
I rise to the sky for help
Just to fall back into the chasmic trench
The ships on my waves are doomed
I toss and throw them away
Lightning so fierce
The mighty ocean must fear
What she incites
Leave scars on myself
Let go of all chances
Stripped of my aplomb
The clouds weep at my fate
But do nothing to help
I feel so confined
Once the storm subsides
I'll be just fine
Until she brings it again
How could I harbour such a fiend?
She brings her gales into my ocean
How could I?
I rise to the sky for help
Just to fall back into the chasmic trench
The ships on my waves are doomed
I toss and throw them away