Ill

Yo, what part of me is really me?
If i travel deep in my heart, will i see my destiny?
No, its darkness that surrounds me
Sounds too fucking loud
I cant get out of this day dream
Yo, always the same thing
Stuck in this routine
Im fucking ill save me
Fucking ill save me
Ill save me

Tough to balance on this plateau
I fucking caused enough damage, its my time to go
Feels like im dying, fucking shaking in the dessert snow
As high as that Zepplin, looking below
Tripping off acid, took four tabs
A corpse, fucking flying through lisk ave
I see the stares, well barely, my eyes are too squinted
From the smoke and glare
I dont care, im too fucking tilted
Too gifted, to be living like a witness
Ease-dropped on the Rotschilds, now i know all their secrets
My demons are scheming, screaming, battling the blood in my body
I aint sorry, you wanted a rush
Now you’re scared that you’re too wobbly
Life is just a fucking hobby
And i think its my time to quit

Why cant i stand being sober?
Why am i always anxious when the high’s fucking over?
Why do i only wanna live in the rush?
Normal conversations just arent enough
I lost all care
I cant stay sane in the moments between being fucked up
Addicted to the adrenaline? Or addicted to cleaning my mess up?
Drinking wine from a coca cola cup
Lying that im fine as im at work throwing up
This tequila
I fear no consequence when im drinking that liquid confidence
My lipids compromised, minds disorganized
Life’s a fucking mess
Im phillip Seymour Hoffman stressed
Fillin up with cough medicine, you can smell it on my breath
Life is just another fucking failed test
Tired of feeling like a fucking guest
This is my best
And im fucking ill

Ahhhhhhh
This aint a fucking drill
Im fucking ill
Fucking ready to kill, myself
It aint worth living, living living in this living hell
Im ill
Tired of always fucking searching for a thrill
Will i feel real? Feel alive? Is this real life?
Im deprived of kind words
I only find remorse
Blindly chasing a hearse
Silently dying, fucking help me!
Im steering off course
Im fucking ill
Fucking force feeding myself another goddamn pill
Swallowing xanax like krill
A quarter pound of nuggets of weed, thats my happy meal
Higher than scrappy and scoobie smoking a doobie with key and peele
I cant stay serious
My brain fucking delirious
Delicious cannabis and oxycotin
I fear being forgotten
I fear the ideas in my noggin wont play, for you
And you wont be boppin
I fear my rotten instincts
Will ruin my present
Satin plannin my descension
My reflection only showing apprehension
A cursed imagine
With this fucking sickness called addiction
And depression
I always choose isolation, then complain about being lonely
Life is just so fucking phoney
And im too ill to go on
Downward fucking spiral, im singing along