Honest 2 God Tyshane/DSTL 1.0.mp3

[Intro]
Honest, uh, look

[Verse 1]
Honest moments, some days I'm too afraid to create
’Cause I'm fearful all my greatest ideas have gone to waste
I know that if I would they would probably be good
But who got time for being good when you wanna be great
Been super critical, plus my heart growin' super cynical
People hang around actin’ like they super into you
Meanwhile, all a scheme to see what they can get from you
Prayers in these cab rides that became a ritual, uh
I told God I wanna live for You, but
It's hard to live righteous when it costs residual cuts
And plus, for my faith, I face ridicule, but
In light of that glory the comments all minuscule, uh
And my wife feeling competition with my career
But I'm feeling competition with every rapper I hear
The day I stop doing this probably my biggest fear
But she the only one to be there when nobody cared
So my priorities change, who even keeping score in this game?
The price of fame quite the chore to maintain
Record execs they always wan' pour you champagne
It all stop when the record sale reports ain't the same
Who really love ya? Who really love ya? Who really love ya?
Let me ask again, who really love ya enough to hug ya?
And tell you when you actin' like a sucka, and never judge ya
That's not rhetorical, give a call to whoever that is
Say thanks for everything that they did
Life is fragile, we here for a blink, then it end
The definition of family the same for the friends
The loyalty thicker than the blood that's under your skin

[Break]
Them honest moments
Ha, how often do we have ’em?
Real ones
Can I have one?
We goin’ public with our highlights, uh
Private with our sin, throwing up pictures at the party
But not the one throwing up at the end, oh Lord

[Verse 2]
Honest moments, how often do we have 'em?
Even with our closest, hard questions, hope that they never ask ’em
Ironically, they feel the same, we both actin'
I'm feelin' like a joke, that’s why I try to keep 'em laughin'
Crisis happen in my faith, I felt trapped in
Didn't know if God was just something I imagined
Meanwhile, people got questions, they askin'
Me about Jesus, but I ain't got the answers, Sway
It's crazy when you known for your faith
You supposed to give it, but you never get grace
So show up on stage, put on that face
I'm just tryna hold on, hope I finish my race, uh
And I just wanna hear Him say "Well done"
How I feel right now? Well, done
Ain't nobody askin' me how I'm doin'
They just like, "Ayo, where the next album?"
Here it is, honest to God, that's all I can be
They want the old Andy, girl, don't tempt me
And as of late, I'm lookin' into therapy
Forget scarin' other rappers, man I'm scared of me
'Cause mental health issues in my family tree
My grandmother died of Alzheimer's
Last time I see her, yo, she ain't even remember me
I gotta wonder if the same ends meant for me, yeah
Went through depression in December 2016, the worst year I could remember
I was sittin' at the table with my wife, started weepin'
Tears fallin' down my face, I ain't even know the reason, started readin'
Learned it's my body's way of releasin'
Stress that I been carryin' over these seasons, uh
And in my darkest time, friends are what I needed
But I hadn't sown there so wasn't much for me to really reap in
Losin' faith in things that I once believed in
Even myself, I think Satan sent his illest demons
Must be doin' somethin' right to get this opposition
Meanin' I should go the hardest when I feel like quitin'
God, kill me if I ever start mixin'
Personal ambition and call it a righteous mission
'Cause from a distance, most people couldn't tell the difference
That's the thing that make me ashamed to say I'm Christian
God, they lyin' on your name on the television, uh
They Benny Hinn gettin' Benjamin's, uh
And, nah, I get it, why most hate religion
'Cause division and oppression is what Ben depicted
But two choices young man, make a decision
Throw your hands up and say "Forget it"
Or be the difference
Four minutes of sharin' how I felt
Honest with y'all 'cause now I'm bein' honest with myself

[Outro]
Honest moments
How often do we have 'em?
Am I allowed to have one? (Ayy, yeah)
'Cause we go live with the highlights
We go silent with the pain
We don't tell nobody
'Cause we don't want no shame
But if you only knew
If you only knew
Everyone you scared to let down
Don't you know they're scared like, like, like you