Lucy

I was placed in a position to have to be a man,
I was still a kid, doing the best that I can,
First baby on the way, I'm 17,
Nothing but a pen and a pad I had a dream,
I would make a way, or so it seemed,
Little did I know I was giving up being free,
Was it just the sex or L-O-V-E?
Somehow at that age I wound up with 3,
Imagine that, wound up with 3,
People my age now don't even have 1,
So anyways yea I had 3 sons,
No bank account, couldn't hold a job, none,
Drinking and smoking was an everyday thing,
Getting wide open off the drugs,
Wish my mama would've sat me down and gave me hugs,
Instead I got kicked out and shoulder shrugs,
Looking back, I should've went to visit dad in prison more
I had my own run ins with the law,
1st time withheld adjudication came back on violation,
House arrest probation you see it?
Ankle bracelet part of my situation I was too young to understand freedom,
I used to do so much dumb shit smoke weed go see my P.O like fuck it,
Aw man, they say if you can go back with what you know now right?
With everything now in hindsight, I just might,
Pop up reinvent myself set shop up get my guap up,
But around the time my second and third was born
Heart was already so torn,
There was no mending the relationship tending to the heartbreak or saving shit,
Trust me, if any one tried it was me, if anyone cried it was me,
If anyone lied it was her, court dates child support rape
She ain't even take the money and get my kids edge straight,
So here I am now 3-65 in the courthouse tryna calm down,
Not to mention music started popping off, I couldn't get my BM to drop my kids off,
All the while, I opened my door thru the shelters drug abuse and more,
I could go on and on thru that stage, but I'll be the bigger man and just flip the page,
I have a lot of rage built up, still,
If I saw a doc for it I know they'll give me pills, I know they'll give me pills
I rather just stick my chest out and deal,
So then she O.D. got the police calling me telling me if I don't go get my daughter,
So longer story shorter, I go get my daughter
And never looked back, I still pray for you tho hope you get the help you need,
Your recent arrests show you still out here in these streets,
And that hurts me more but I gotta be a stronger man for these 4,
I'm a good man father to the core,
I don't wanna sound like its just me
I did this all with they step mother Lucy, thank you!