The Twelve Gifts of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
A Japanese transistor radio

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Green polka-dot pajamas
And a Japanese transistor radio
(It's a Nakashuma)

On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
A calendar book with the name of my insurance man
Green polka-dot pajamas
And a Japanese transistor radio
(It's the Mark IV model
That's the one that's discontinued)

On the fourth day Of Christmas, my true love gave to me
A simulated alligator wallet
A calendar book with the name of my insurance man
Green polka-dot pajamas
And a Japanese transistor radio
(And it comes in a leatherette case with holes in it
so you can listen right through the case)

On the fifth fay of Christmas, my true love gave to me
A statue of a naked lady, with a clock where her stomach ought to be
A simulated alligator wallet
A calendar book with the name of my insurance man
Green polka-dot pajamas
And a Japanese transistor radio
(And it has a wire with thing on one end
that you can stick right in your ear
and a thing on the other end
that you can't stack anywhere, because it's bent)

On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
A hammered aluminum nutcracker
And all that other stuff
And a Japanese transistor radio

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
A pink satin pillow that says San Diego, with fringe all around it,
And all that other stuff
And a Japanese radio

On the eight day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
An indoor plastic birdbath
And all that other stuff
And a Japanese transistor radio

On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
A pair of teakwood shower clogs
And a Japanese transistor radio

On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
A chromium combination manicure scissors and cigarette lighter
And a Japanese transistor radio

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
An automatic vegetable slicer that works when to see it on television
but not when you get it home
And a Japanese transistor radio

On the twelfth day of Christmas, although it may seem strange
On the twelfth day of Christmas, I'm going to exchange
An automatic vegetable slicer that works when you see it on television
but not when you get it home
A chromium combination manicure scissors and cigarette lighter
A pair of teakwood shower clogs
An indoor plastic birdbath
A pink satin pillow that says San Diego, with fringe all around it
A hammered aluminum nutcracker
A statue of naked lady, with a clock where her stomach ought to be
A simulated alligator wallet
A calendar book with the name of my insurance man
Green polka-dot pajamas
And a Japanese transistor radio

Merry Christmas everybody