It's a Most Unusual Play

It's a most unusual play
Feel like throwing my tickets away,
'Cause the boy gets the boy
And the girl gets the girl
And it's way too far off Broadway

It's a most unusual plot
Which I've either blocked out or forgot
I don't know what it means
But they all wear blue jeans
And they scratch themselves quite a lot

There's no scenery, there's no lighting,
There's no costumes, oh, what art!
If there only were no house lights,
I would sneak up the aisle and depart

There's a most unusual scene
Where this man dates this Xerox machine,
So his girlfriend gets mad
And she murders the cad
To the tune of "Begin the Beguine"
In this most unusual, most unusual, most unusual play

Oh, the language is a bit loose
It's decidedly not Mother Goose
Outside on the marquee
This quotation you'll see
"I was shocked!" and it's signed Lenny Bruce

It's a play where something went wrong
'Cause it's five hours, twelve minutes long
If you sit there, my friend,
From beginning to end
Then your bladder better be strong

There are people hitting people
There's a couple in a cage
There's neurotics, there's narcotics,
And the bathroom is right on the stage!

It's a great big critical smash,
And it's raking in all kinds of cash
But the theater's appalling
With things that are crawling
I think I am getting a rash
From this most unusual, most unusual, most unusual play