Just Want You to Understand Me

For the last 3 days I've just been sitting here tapping my pencil looking at this empty page
I know what it is that I want to say but yet my mind still drawing blank
Feeling like a ticking time bomb just waiting to detonate
Been trying to medicate off kush clouds to help me mediate
Orchestrate these words in a way that can help each of relate
Give you that vibe that helps you resonate with the same emotion I felt but you couldn't tell
Guess when it comes to hide and seek I just play it well

I've come to learn that as a writer the endless goal
Is to touch a nerve every time I bare my soul in these poetic words
Helping the listeners understand my gift and my curse
Before you can appreciate me at my best, try to understand me at my worst
Body still covered in scars and if you could feel my pain, you could tell how much they hurt
There was times that I didn't think prayers really worked
I would just make excuses for me not to go to church
But as a result to that I would just have nightmares of me laying in a hearse
Watching my family and friends covering my casket with a pile of dirt
While the devil standing behind them face covered with a smirk
Felt like I could smell my flesh burning while I was tossing and turning

So in that moment I began writing these poetic scriptures and started preparing my sermon
Started preparing for the omen to pay me a visit and claim what I owe them
Just pray that I could still fit my wings and fly even if they broken
Been walking through the valley of death but now it feels like my feet are swollen
And I'm losing my breathe. Seems I've became the model for you to follow
So even if the shoe doesn't fit, you can still follow my steps
Survival of the fittest and there's only a few of us left
Maybe it's that we all share the same genes I guess
So how I can I still be here through all my pain and stress and feel like I'm not blessed
How can I ever fail when put to the test?
And trust when I'm laid to rest, I'ma still live Big during my Life After Death

Ali One Focus Dope Poet