Lobsters and Hypocrites

I asked a blind man for directions to the cinema
He referred me to a recent girlfriend
Who had complications in Virginia
Just then she pulled out a Kodak and shot me

In my dilemma, just below the knee
I looked around
Chairs full of clowns everywhere
But I was in line at the cinema

So, some giant broom offered me an almond
"Allegedly," I said, "I already am one"
An African diplomat was in a woman's hut
She was in bed with a large dog bone
And she was speaking with a hypnotist
On a blue cellophane telephone

Two priests sat fishing
Shooting the breeze in upper Michigan
When I drove by with a pickup truckload
Of water buffalo and tan immigrants

Who instructed me to
"Take hold of this hose and don't let it go for eternity"
They insisted then, I should pick my nose
So I chose the one to the left of me