​moth

And in the daylight I collapsed
In the distance between what I knew and what I knew had passed
I saw the blood and the skin upon the backs of my hands
I couldn't see them as my own
And I lay in the cold
Let go

I think about those years
Time spent in fear
I'm glad that you're not here
I wanna make that clear
Who did you think you were to me?
A pleasant memory?
Can't you see?
You ruined me

And in the evening I'm alone
Where is home?
It's really not that bad
Given what I had
But the feeling hasn't gone away
And to this day
I don't quite understand
Why it felt so bad

I can count the ways that I know
Why it felt like hell
But I always feel like I'm alone
A feeble misconstructed histrionic shell

I cannot remember all those years
They're not here
Somewhere locked away
Who's to say
What you meant when you touched me?
I can barely hold that memory
Without feeling guilt consume me
But I guess I was lucky
That you wanted me to be somebody
And maybe you were just lonely
I'll never know
I'll never know

I think about those years
A life spent in fear
I'm glad that you're not here
Look, I wanna make that clear
Who did you think you were to me?
A pleasant memory?
Can't you see?
You ruined me

I think about those years
Time spent in fear
You're not here
[?]