On Your Laurels

I've carried this flag for far too long
"If you’re not moving forward
You’re always falling back"
Is this what drives me?
Some sorry fucking mantra
Like the default state of our lives
Is to constantly retract

And yet I can’t shake this illusion
It seems that I have been mislead
Never rest, never rest
Guilt sets the ticking in my head
Just when I seem to grasp what I’ve been chasing
It starts to deconstruct before my eyes
And everything I thought that I was missing
Reflects how wrong I’ve been this whole damn time

I've carried this flag for far too long
"If you’re not moving forward
You’re always falling back"
Is this what drives me?
Some sorry fucking mantra
Like the default state of our lives
Is to constantly retract

I may just be the sum of all my parts
But I can rearrange them as I please
Every pattern that I find within myself
Is only limited by what I can see

I’ll never rest on my own laurels
I’ll never reap my own rewards
The fruit of my labor rots before I can taste it
I’ll never find what I’m looking for

I’ll never rest on my own laurels
I’ll never reap my own rewards
The fruit of my labor rots before I can taste it
I’ll never find what I’m looking for

I’ll never find it
I'll never, I'll never
I’ll never find it
I’ll never, never know know the taste of it