Unspoken Sympathies

Bereavement & concealment , a distinction without a difference,
To move my mama out the hood: i made it my mission,
I have to channel my inner drake and touch gold when I touch this mic, anything less would be a waste of time, & time is in short supply,
Why is it that the joy of life creates thoughts for us to die,
Why is it that those who make us happy at the same time make us cry,
I guess these contradictions build our spines & fuel our needs to pursue our grinds, because these experiences wholeheartedly sharpen our minds,
I wish i could find love without thinking how to partake,
I wish school didn’t teach fractions but taught us the heartbreaks,
I wish I didn’t have heartaches, it correlates to my keepsakes & I think about how much those missteps led me to making my mistakes,
God I love me a sample,
An open book at its finest,
Man I love me a gamble,
A shot in the dark at its blindest,
A poet turned songwriter, a songwriter turned artist, i wasn’t born with the natural talent but amongst the ignorant im the smartest,
I look to the heavens to ask the all-knowing God for a sign,
I look to my spirit to help ease all the pain in my mind,
I consult with god to turn my water into wine,
Maybe that’s what it will take to turn my “I’m hurting” statements into “ I’m fines”
Lord I’m trying,
To the wannabe gangsters, yeah all that street rap is cool,
Try speaking with a message cause that’s actually some hard shit to do,
I wish i had a crew, but then again i value my privacy, I’m so used to depravity and tragedy that being a loner truly flatters me,
More than anything i want to remix that Churchill downs,
More than anything I’d like to live where i don’t hear constant rounds,
Of ammunition in my mama’s kitchen, move away to heaven - is what I’m fixin’ to do, but there are select few who ask “why should it be you?”
Because I’m more than a man wrapped in an armor of black skin,
Because I have absolute longevity as opposed to a brief stint
I have more substance despite my arms’ stature of being thin,
I came from a black Queen so don’t be the least bit surprised when I win,
For some of us, that microphone is a therapist,
For some of us, that therapist is a bottle,
They sip that alcohol full-throttle then they’re mad to be startled by the news that they have kidney failures & problems,
Man i ought to open my eyes to see all the lies,
Man i ought to be more aware of all which i despise,
I ought to give people my ass to kiss but god doesn’t like ugly so I don’t think that’d be wise,
Maybe we can compromise,
Or not,
But you don’t see me looking for a gun,
It’s like escalating situations is what these idiots do for fun,
Oh you like attending funerals?
You like making women widows?
I wouldn’t want anyone to push up daisies, let’s just relax on these pillows,
& talk, reflect on all that we have,
I don’t mean to brag, but right now my life is completely on track,
On top of my shit, i got racks in my pocket, my girl still a spoiled brat but onto the next topic man,
I ain’t trippin,
Stress & disease,
Shoutout to the people who please,
Bending over backwards for those who don’t see me as priority,
Should that energy be reciprocated?
Should I give less of a damn?
I wasn’t raised to be spiteful , meanness isn’t part of god’s plan,
It would be something if a troubled childhood was part of my rap’s material,
My mama & nana gave me the best, they made me feel imperial,
Kingly, heavenly, uplifted by two strong women,
I watch how I move out here because they wouldn’t appreciate me sinnin’,
But what about my daddy,
Like where the hell is he at,
Even if I had the addy, I probably wouldn’t meet up & chat,
That’s what life is,
This bullshit tit for tat,
I wish it was founded upon selflessness & love but you gotta take the good with the bad,
The ball with the bat, the swatter with the gnat,
For every action is an equal reaction, Magic School Bus taught me that,
Speaking of teaching,
Childhood is the greatest teacher,
Not even our coaches, influencers or the Sunday morning preacher,
Children are knowledgeable, yet impressionable undoubtedly,
We have to cultivate our kids because their our greatest commodity,
I hope my mama is proud of me because I’ve been struggling with demons that tell me I’m living a life of complete mediocrity,
We are our own worst critics,
I’ll rewrite songs a thousand times over cause i ain’t feelin’ my lyrics,
I’ve made so much mistakes i know I have a tainted spirit,
Another thing I’ve decided - I’m not really a mumble rapper,
I like to show slow lyrical prowess to prove that I’m an attention-grabber,
Never a trapper,
Never a capper,
Unless you count me tipping off my hat to the cooks who make my platters,
You ever see a perfect splatter?
Ever created a masterpiece,
My girl hit me with some deep shit, said that she’s mastering her peace,
Shoutout Lonna cause I’m proud of your ole high maintenance ass,
In terms of all my exes, you’re in an entirely different class,
I came to realize that I don’t want to blow up,
I just want i to have fun with this fantasy,
I’ll look back to laugh at those who didn’t give a shred of a damn bout me,
My time is coming though, vigilance is key,
God has a way of giving life-changing opportunities,
I just hope I can live up to the hype so that I can be set free,
As a person, my growth is equivalent to a tree,
I reach a point, then I’m stagnant, but I’ll get that degree,
I been meaning to ask my haters why don’t you respect me?
Is it because I’m actually something in life & you’re a lesser shroud of me?
Don’t feel bad now, I don’t take kindly to flattery,
It’s honestly annoying, but I shouldn’t let it bother me,
I’m a radical thinker hence all my unspoken sympathies,